Emotionlings (2023)
These works started after a period when expressing myself through modern dance felt more tidy than honest. I was inspired by:
Visual art that showed me distortion/exaggeration of the body can be really resonant
Buddhist mindfulness practices that encourage curiosity and compassion towards our emotions (some text borrowed from Tara Brach, Gil Fronsdal)
Somatic therapy that gave me tools to listen to my body
The desire to organize each felt experience, to distinguish them from one another, started from this drawing (fear, confusion, self doubt)- expressing what I was feeling in one moment:
Seeing how convoluted this drawing is gave me the opportunity to recognize how full my head was— if that many emotions, sensations, and thoughts are present, of course I feel overwhelmed! I got curious about organizing what I experienced. I drew the embodied representation for specific feelings (starting with fear, confusion, and self doubt) and added overlays to distinguish the emotions, sensations, thoughts, and metaphors. I learned how resistance and overidentifying with some emotions was blocking my experiencing of other emotions and practiced a more spacious concept of myself, and was able to dig deeper, as if peeling away layers. Through the process, I gained both awareness and compassion for myself, and it helped me respond to myself with love in each moment.
Sharing this work with others helped me move from a mindset that big feelings are sticky and disconnecting. I heard from others that they recognized certain aspects in themselves, and we’d get to share with one another about what we experience and how we practice caring for ourselves.